It is my 4th Anniversary of living in Hawaii. I have been thinking alot about what that means, and thankful for all I have here. As someone who lived many places, I never had a "hometown", and I adopted Hawaii as home because it always existed in my parents heads as "home" and I saw how happy they were on the occasions we were here visiting relatives.
I have a friend here who says that whatever you ask of the island, she will provide. Not in terms of plenty, but in terms of need. Something about paring down that need appeals to me: It's like traveling, where you limit yourself to the contents of your bag, and you are freed in that sparsity. When I moved here, I asked for a clear head, peace, a path, and some diving. The island has provided most of that.
I don't think I can stay here. I don't think I can afford to live here very long: There is not much economic future, and I will never be able to afford a house. And dearest BF, who hates it here, has his sights on a colder, rainier isle that pulls at his heart like home. And that is one thing we can't ask this beautiful, fiery isle to do: We can't ask her to be anything but herself.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
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